Split

We sat there. Lost in the presence of each other. It had been so long. I had sorely missed her. Maybe because we had missed a lot of things together. Dates, birthdays and parties had all gone by with me standing in the corner trying to call her. Then she left.

We had our space. But later there was just too much of it. We would call each other everyday only to realise both of us are fucked up in our own way. We did our best to hide it from each other. It worked sometimes.

But most of the times one of us would usually say, "Babe. Whats wrong?". These three words would open the floodgate which somehow had held back a river of emotions. I was, back then, the only person she could talk to. I enjoyed the exclusiveness. She enjoyed the fact that someone was listening to her. We were in love. But all the things that we had to deal with were the things we had no control over. We were just living through a phase in which both of us were trying to do damage control till the day we could be together.

The phone rang one afternoon. I had just stormed out of class and was on my way to get a drink. It was her. She sounded happy. That made me happy. She told me that she was coming back fo good. I was elated. These past few months were horrible and I was just about to crack. She was going to be here in 2 days. Time to prepare.

She came home on a bright sunny day. I was cooking and had bought a bottle of wine. The whole day was spent feeding ourselves, listening to music and a little fooling around. She was back. And I was back.

The days went by with us rediscovering ourselves. New bands, New shows and the new scenes with the world were the things that we would talk about. She was a great friend as well. Someone who hated being pretentious. I would talk non stop only to catch her looking right at me. Actually listening. I felt content. Something I hadn't felt in long time.

Then something happened that totally rocked my wagon. We were at her place chilling out. I was babbling on about something when I saw that she wasn't really into the conversation. It was a possibilty I could've bored the crap out of her. She looked at me and said we need to talk. Oh fucking hell.

We stood outside with our cups of tea. She told me that she had taken up a new course and had to go back. I was shattered. So many months of waiting. For what? Things had not been good and this is the last thing I needed. So I did what I had to do. I called the whole thing off. I told her that we would both be in a better place with someone else. I knew she needed someone. Someone who could be there for her.

She was heart broken. She told me that we could work things out. That she would come down more. But I had made up my mind. It was over.

We spent the rest of the evening cuddled up to each other. No words were spoken. None were necessary. She cried a bit. I just sat there, looking completetly unfazed by the whole thing. Truth is it was hurting, it was hurting real bad. I couldn't sit there anymore. A long kiss and then I left.

The ride back home was weird. The roads were empty. Bruce springsteen was playing on my headphones. I felt sick. I couldn't reason with myself. The only thing that made sense then was no more.

The voice of reason finally spoke. It told me that things were going to be better this way. It told me that we were missing too much by restricting each other. That we needed someone we could be with whenever we wanted. I felt at ease. I rode to my friend's place to tell him one hell of a story.